WHEEL OF FAITH

Have this in my facebook account, thought i’d share with my friendster buddies

..i have been tagged thrice this week..so..here goes:

1. My long tme hollywood crush that I never outgrew- John Cusack (Say Anything) I still ogle over his movies like a teenager no matter if it sucks or what not, basta nandun sya, i watch it.
2. The only BLACK guy that I love unconditionally- WILL SMITH *sigh*
3. I may be perceived as very sociable but in reality, I enjoy being alone while shopping, can eat alone in a restaurant full of people even walk along the shores of Boracay alone. Alone time for me is sacred, I have to have it every once in a while.
4. I have a scar on my right leg that I got when I was 8 from playing in the swings alone. nagenjoy kaso sa sobrang enjoy ko, napalakas ang tulak ko sa sarili ko i ended up flat on the ground at dahil nga magisa lang ako nun, i had to help myself up, walked all bloodied from the park which was 2 blocks away from our house. wawa 5. I have a sweet tooth. In buffets, i can skip the main course and linger in the sweets section all day!
6. I love the smell of brewed coffee but can’t have them. it (caffeine) was identified as a trigger for my migraine, so if you see me at starbucks i could be having either a boring cup of TEA or orange juice
7. Same with beer- trigger for migraine, so if i really have to drink, I go for tequila (YAY!)
8. I love babies- I took care of my kids when they were babies 24/7- no maids.
9. I am a Daddy’s girl.
10. Which is weird because at my age now, whenever I feel pain, I call out for my mom. through a bad case of undiagnosed scoliosis 3 years ago, Glenn took me to the hospital but I asked him to pick up my mom first to come along with us. can’t live without her.
11. I take my kids to a new place to experience something new every summer. I pray that this year, I will be able to take them to Boracay or Palawan*fingers crossed
12. I love scarves, even before na di pa sya uso (10 yrs ago). My collection started from a scarf that my boss bought for me when he went to spain, and some from when I went to Italy and some as gifts from other travelling friends. so guys- hint! hint!
13. The thing I loved when I was in Europe, was not only the fact that I got to see these nice places– but I got to dress like THE europeans. I love their fashion style kaya kung minsan mukha akong giniginaw sa outfit ko, nag ta trying hard lang akong mag mukhang taga london!
14. I used to have thick frizzy hair from elementary to highschool- so my hair then was always short otherwise di ako magkakasya sa pinto namin hehe, nung nauso yung rebond- i was the happiest!
15. Once I spent 3,000 pesos on a treatment shampoo over a good pair of shoes
16. Pag depressed ako, the first thing i change is my hairstyle.
17. A Hair Salon is like Disneyland for me, I can stay there the whole day and most of the time I do!
18. I am not a sporty person, when my sisters were volleyball heroines, I was their alalay.
19. Ginawin ako, I sometimes drive at night with my AC off.
20. I am not mindful of my celfone, so wala akong kwentang ka text.
21. BTW, I hate forwarded text messages.
22. I miss my green corolla, it’s the shiniest, cleanest car I ever had. Wish I never sold it.
23. I may know a lot of people but I only keep a few friends
24. When I was a little girl, I dreamt about being a tollgate teller.
25. I love massages, it’s my favorite pampering activity.  Once on a Boracay trip, I had two massages per day for 3 straight days- no beach time!

Here i go again- i do not know if you can call it delayed reaction or if its just that i always get into that phase called denial as a symptom of separation anxiety.

 i found out about the resignation of 2 of my colleagues a week or two ago.  I took the news in a stride and went about my usual activities

Itago na lang natin sila sa pangalang R and M. 

While on a roadtrip to the south last Saturday, i was telling Glenn about R & M and their decision to leave JnJ and while he was talking, I found myself reminiscin of the good ol’ days.  R & M are not just my officemates now but they were also part of my Pfizer world. 

Then it hit me!

OMG!  they are leaving won’t be my officemates anymore!

 I won’t see them in office functions, I won’t bump into them in the hallways or in the caf or wave at them in the parking lot.  I find comfort in the fact that in my jnj world, theirs are the familiar and friendly faces that help quiet down my anxieties when days are not as good. 

Couldn’t help but well up.

Looking back, I have many fond memories of them.  But there’s one that tops my list.  I remember-  during the  transition phase with JnJ-  dealing with ufamillair brands in a new position with a new boss-i got so stressed  out after a brief argument with the new boss, I  went up to M’s cube, without saying a word, sat there in his visitor’s chair and sobbed.  I did not say anything nor did he ask me why.  Then R came over (he is M’s boss and he used to be my boss as well) to ask M for something. When he saw me crying- he just hugged me so tight and kissed my forehead.  It’s like telling me-  it’s okay, you can do this, and you  can do this right.  They both silently sat there until I found the strength to regain my composure. There were no exchange of words among the three of us, yet  somehow, I knew they were there for me.   I have always known that more than being colleagues, we were  friends…but at that particular time, they were my brothers.

one one hand, i want to say i am happy for them for being able to start a new chapter in their careers, where i am confident, they will prove their worth.  On the other hand, I am sad because i will really miss them.

I have missed doing this.  Grabe,  I hardly have time to browse the net ( i’m that pathetic haha)  as Glenn would say whenever I tell him I’d look up something sa net, he retorts-  goodluck kung makapag browse ka pa!. so now, i’m proving him wrong by blogging away.  During those times I could not find the time to post, there were so many things I though of blabbering about and now I feel spaced out..I will try to restrain my thoughts ha? Otherwise I might end up talking about WHATEVER! na lang  out of deprivation.

But- good news is-  I seriously plan to make this a regular thing ulet.  ONe of the many that I want to DO again (I have quite a long  list) I just need to manage my time more to do the things I need to do and WANT to do. 

I have been so caught up with work since early this year, and guess what   I realized:

1.  di mauubos ang trabaho kahit anong sipag mo, bukas meron ulit! mas madami pa!

2.  the more you show them that you can multitask-the more they will make you! hahaha

…at 3.  the more you spend time working in the office, the bigger you’ll get pala..hehehe

Seriously, work is good but too much of it can blur our perspective of what truly is important. 

Once while hanging out at Starbucks to wait for a 9am meeting to start, I overheard a group of mom chatting -from  the latest village project, showbiz chismis and the likes.  couldn’t help but be green with envy listening to them  plan what time  they should be at the PTA afterwhich they agree to assemble in the nearby park for a playtime with their kids.  One of them was confirming headcount for their 2 pm reservation for a massage at the SPA.  my friend who was with me at that time says they must be married to filthy rich guys to be able to afford NOT TO WORK!. I told my friend I dream about that kind of life, that I wish I will be able to afford to retire at a fairly reasonable age to enjoy a life like that.  Surprisingly, my friend replied with a “at ano naman ang gagawin mo?  uubusin mo savings mo? ” She says her mom taught her before that one should work while one still can and retire by 60 only when you have earned lots and lots of money! that’s kinda sad don’t you think?

 It is tough that we sometimes  lose sight of the more important things and get side tracked by the WANT to relentlessly succeed…then  we end up wanting MORE AND MORE and MORE! A bigger house, a nicer car, more houses, more cars. which we use as the measuring stick for the so called success.  What used to be an annual vacation in Cebu, or Boracay now has to be a trip to Asia, then the US and Europe all in one year.  That’s how some measure  progress.  To  top, outdo yourself, until these milestones are met— you cannot say you are succesful.

In the past 11 months, as I wrestled with the fact that I used to believe in simpler things being BETTER-  I witnessed life become more complicated as I get to learn MORE!  Hindi na pwedeng ganito lang, kelangan mas mabilis, you were able to do it before at this pace, you can do it better next  time if you want to make it to the top, everyone else is doing it-  you have to outdo them if you want to make the cutI This, at the expense of your personal time, sometimes even your  health, and your family’s.  Luckily for me- I do know I have a  choice! I choose to be reminded to  pause before i get lost in all the corporate hoopla and appreciate what I value more than anything! 

Let me share with you some of them:

Life is being able to play with your dog on a satruday morning, driving him around the village even if it means his hair will stick to your car (pa-carwash ka na lang ulit! may BNT naman eh, hehe)

 Life is  eating out in diners, or even hanging out in coffee shops in our slippers and pambahay!

…  watching our favorite TV shows all 4 of us squeezed in my bed!

…or even playing at timezone on a saturday night with the kids…and the feeling KIDS!

..i do not know with you but as for me, i know i  do not need to spend a lot to enjoy. .and need not wait until i retire to  enjoy LIFE!

I just need to enjoy life more and work a little less hard.

There goes the first item on my new year’s resolution list!

1.  Spent Friday night with Jayps in her pad.  We didn’t see each other for months so there was major catching up to do.  We ordered in food, the famous SA (jnj people would know what that is J), an hour after, Glenn arrived and 3 of us had what you could call an instant party for three J thanks jp, that was fun!

 2.  It was a good Saturday morning.  Woke up early despite the 3 am nightcap.  G and I enjoyed a roadtrip to do an errand.  We passed by Imus to check up on Allen for a bit.  Traffic in Imus is baaadd!  Buti na lang we were able to amuse each other and kept ourselves busy hehehe.  Ultimate high of the day was our  talk with statements mostly starting with…. “do you remember when…..”? This was followed by questions asking about each other’s  first kiss, toughest heartbreak from our past relationships, longest break up and stuff like that.  It’s so refreshing to get out of the “boyfriend-girlfriend” mode and talk casually about stuff like that—  it reinforces the reason behind calling your boyfriend-  your bestfriend.  I welled up a bit when he re-told the story of how he and his first love broke up..L

3.  Went shopping- Shopping for product samples for my next presentation that is.  Gash!  You can feel the effect of the growing inflation rate.  Fewer people are going to the malls, we easily spotted 3 available slots in the usually filled up parking lot in the mall.  Hayyy, I can see myself going through more sleepless nights banging my head on how else I can sell my products when people would rather stay home to save money!!!

4.  I  have been  celfone-less for more than 24 hours– it felt weird— I had to use glenn’s phone to send my mom a message, contact 2 of my colleagues for a work question and call my brother for something.  I felt immobilized- and incomplete.  Which makes you ask how in the world we survive without a celfone then when now you could not even leave the house without it.   Tsk tsk—I hope this is not a case of “when things you own start owning you…!  

5.  Saw my all time favorite romantic film last night-  Notting Hill..  I still love the scenes where the cheesy Ronan Keating song gets played kahit na gaano na sya ka gasgas.  I’d say the musical scoring here made the difference…and I could not imagine anyone better than Julia Roberts to play Anna Scott.  One of my favorite scenes - the night they first went to the park and saw the bench where anna said “ some people do stay together for the rest of their lives”— then asked will to sit with her, plus  will’s first  red carpet experience where he had to escort his celebrity wife—must say- Hugh was very effective in his role,  I just   love him !

6.  I almost bought SmartBro kanina sa mall-  can someone tell me which one is better?  Smartbro ba or Globe Visibility .  We both went to Globe and Smart centers to ask but I’m still undecided which one to get.  Message if you have anything to share please!

It was a long day— am getting sleepy so will get ready to go to bed.  Tomorrow’s another day.  Hope to be able to go to church on time, to worship and be blessed to prep me to face another challenging week HEAD ON!

May God help me J

I feel bad when i work so late — specially on a friday. *sigh I miss those days when my friday night was sooo hectic that I sometimes schedule 3 gimicks in one night..and now, poor me is still in the office at 9 on a friday night…

come to think of it, I have rarely been out with friends lately.

it’s all been work,work,work

i better slowdown and enjoy more.

i miss my buddies

i miss my nieces

i miss my pug Homer

i miss the fun "me"

Today’s not a good day. I am grouchy and I have a question!

why do some people send forwarded messages at 4 am.  Seriously? 4am?   everyday?  Please- it is so impolite specially to those who need uninterrupted sleep and would need to get up at 6 or 7am to work.  see, i cannot put my phone on silent because I recognize its importance during emergency situations.  Some important messages and calls may be missed if i dol that(which has happened in the past na) ..  so spare me the forwarded message at the wee hours. I am fine with the sappy, funny forwarded messages but please not at 2 or 4AM!  I can tolerate the midday text while i’m driving and i have to look for my phone and check who might be texting, might be urgent etc- then i see the forwarded message, no biggie- i am alright with that, i’ll read it later.. but to be awakened in the middle of my sleep for a forwared message? pleaseeee  SOOO NOT POLITE. ‘

(ya, i’m getting old! ..whatever!)

There will be changes in my life very soon which I am very excited about but i cannot openly talk about it now kase nga I can’t.! (ang linaw diba? :))… Sorry but I promise that once it happens, I will BLOG about it, as for now- please pray for me that I be able to do the RIGHT thing

I am sick.  *sniffles..feeling wobbly the whole day yesterday.  Im lucky I got home without hitting anyone on the road.  it seemed like everyting around me was spinning so i decided to stay home today and take those medicines that make you drowsy and sleepy.

But even that was not enough to shut me out from work.  I laid on my bed thinking of my "to do’s"..and the horrible things that might happen at work.  Mid-day, after Glenn left,  I was almost tempted to drive to work but I got concerned about the safety of those who’ll be driving on the same road where I would be so I changed my mind, baka makatulog ako while driving..that would be worse than being in bed worrying about work.

One good thing that happened today though– I caught that commercial on MTV channel about The Red Carpet Massacre!  I screamed on top of my hoarse voice in between sneezes!!! Shetttt!!! Duran Duran will be here?

Flashback, the 2 night concert they had here in Manila back in 87? (or 88?) I WATCHED…. BOTH NIGHTS!

First night?  I was on a date.  This guy who knew how much I liked Duran Duran asked if I would agree to watch with him.  Ofcourse, I said yes even if I had one ticket for one night, I prodded  him to buy for the night that I do not have a ticket.  I did not tell him though that I already have a ticket so that I could watch both nights ..what happened to that guy?  I really don’t like him that much so it never worked out..(user friendly..haha)  Then on the 2nd night-while waiting in line to get into Araneta-  I realized —shucks I’m so pathetic I am watching this concert for the 2nd time?? worse-  by myself!!! as in alone!!!  Too late to turn around, sayang ang ticket na iniyakan ko pa sa mom ko!  Went ahead.  Then the unimaginable happened.  Wild boys was playing when my sooooper dooper crush-  Nick Rhodes, yes the keyboardist, the one, among the 50 faces that adorned the walls of my room in the 80s (i used to have 10 giant posters of Duran Duran when I was a teener so do the math!)…yes..the same guy in the videos that I used to watch over and over again in MTV, VHI, video hit parade….sha nga at wala ng iba-  he looked up– I was seated by the upper left side of the stage..as he turned to my direction..I smiled–frozen but still smiling-then-  He smiled at me!!! it was like suddenly there were neon lights around me  and  that I was sure he was just looking at me…(so who’s pathetic now ha? don’t answer that..hahaha)… I felt foolish that there was no one with me to confirm if he indeed smiled at me or if I was just imagining things.  On the other hand– no one’s also there to refute that so I told myself–yes midz, he smiled at you. I went home with a huge smile on my face kahit na wala akong kasama.  kahit na alam ko din na he could have smiled even without seeing my face but believing that he saw my face and smiled at me was a more pleasant thought, wouldn’t hurt to believe that

And now, they’re coming back???… hmmm… I was a student then in the 80s and I got my ticket from a date and the 2nd night ticket from pestering, pleading my mom to buy for me.  I remember sa National bookstore pa kami bumili nun. I pretended to need a few stuff for school and then convinced her to buy me the ticket 2 months early. 

Well–  I know I do not have to watch it alone this time— but I will hope and pray that I get another glimpse of that sexy, pouty smile…and this time I’ll make sure it’s really a smile for me.

(trivia:  that is the reason why my favorite Duran Duran song is Make me Smile–I foolishly believe that’s Nick’s song for me!)

I have not blogged for quite sometime and even if Jerome has relentlessly reminded me I still could not find the time….I’d have to say- am flattered to know that he takes the time to check on my site just to see if I have updated anything..that to my surprise, someone’s actually reading my blog ???!!!J and has been shamelessly “plugging” my site with our  other “ka-friendsters”!  am sincerely touched (hi Jerome*waves at the monitor*).

Okay so now, I feel like screaming on top of my lungs—I am officially STRESSED! I want to breakdown!  But then again- I do not want to be thought of as irrational, OA or crazy (I know I am but not in a crazy-should - be- in- a- mental institution kind of way so I just thought….

I WILL BLOG!

Takes deep breaths before starting…*whuuuszaaaaaaa*

Okay… *smiles* so where do I start? (I’m scanning my brains on all those stuff that I thought I wanted to blog about but never had the time- ooopsss, di na pala ko pwedeng basta basta mag blog,  I should come up with something sensible for Jerome to read (pressure!!!)”feeling” hahaha).

So…what have I been busy with lately?  WORK wutelse??? This I am ashamed to admit now- I used to say  it was really difficult to adjust with the demands of my work while I was with Promotions & Merchandising.  I’d have to say—I had it easy then compared to what I am going through right now.  No-  not complaining.  It would not be right that with all the blessings I have been getting, mag cocomplain pa ba ko?  Let’s just say-  I have been working my ass off- sa lahat ng extra challenge-  eto yung ibang level!!! Super extra challenge for me.  BUT—I am so thankful because I am learning a lot.  Things I never thought I would have the capacity to analyze and comprehend, -  my brain has reached new heights I never thought it would be capable of even attempting to understand.

Okay, enough of all the work blahhh- let’s talk about the more important stuff- I am celebrating a milestone yet again!  My son has successfully finished highschool! YAY!.  Graduation is tomorrow and we have a small family celebration prepared to honor our 4 graduates this year - his cousins Kit, Kyle and Arum are also graduating from Elementary.  More on that next time, will post pictures too :).

Oh wait– there’s another one I should be happy about!

I am DEBT-free finally.  Last Year I paid off my Citibank Mastercard!

Today- I have fully paid my HSBC VISA!  Both cards I did not use for 2 years- but had been paying for interest..ganun kasakit!  So I swore never to use credit cards.  I am maintaing just one now but it’s company issued corporate credit card so I have no choice but keep it.

*Composes self like a stunning, gorgeous tv host in front of the cam*

See?  No matter how toxic life may get, we still have to see the glass as half-full instead of half-empty.  Count your blessings, I am counting mine:

1.  Fun officemates-  My TMG family (Jerome kasama ka dun!)

2.  My cozy office (they say it’s like a small living room..hehehe)

3.  My very supportive family (Dad & Mom)

5.  My kids

6.  My bestfriend and hainee G!

…and this blog that has helped me survive the day!

*audience applause whie I make a cool exit* 

It’s official. 

The announcement came out today of my move to Trade Marketing, doing the PLANNING and not execution, handling a TOTALLYYYY different brand, one not from the categories I have handled before. After months of trying to juggle several promotional activities at the same time.  Trying to execute flawlessly (Hah!)..and trying to "oil the machine" to help make the team "work" as one operationally— now I will have to move again.

Like any other move- this one is both happy and sad for me.  It is a challenge to become a Trade Category Manager and I am so honored that my boss thinks I can do "it" but I am sad because I will be leaving behind a TEAM I have soooo come to love! 

I have learned so much in the short time that I was with Promotions & Merchandising and I have enjoyed it..yes,  believe it or not–despite the "late nights" and the "walang tulugan sessions" I had with my teamates.  The sobrangg toxic and kaka stress na mga deadlines which kept me on the edge of my seat during the earlier months.

If I can only get through this  major change the way I did the past 4 months—I would thank the heavens! I have been so blessed with a great team that I spent the last 5 months with.

So here goes -Thank you yang, tap, rhona, ferdie for making things easier for me.  For being there— whenever I need you to find out, work on or simply answer something for me. For the laughs in between work that kept us sane.  May I say that Customer Marketing has the brightest PAs! Walter-  my teacher and driver who now has a better looking car than mine!hahaha   grabe, bilib ako sayo for making your dreams a reality!  It’s all good- I am not the only one who has FAITH in the power above all powers!

To Bogsy, when I said there’s this tiny voice in me that wished things stayed the same– I meant it.  and if it were somebody else sitting on the other end of that wall -  things would not have been this good for PMOG.  I thank God everyday that you were my bogsy!!!  Please don’t forget what I told you-  you can RUN the show!

To JTJ, even if he doesn’t do friendster– (I hope) hahaha. Thank you for sharing your expertise with me.   Maybe a lot of people will never understand you but I am glad I am one of those who does.  I am honored that I have seen the softer side of you which made me appreciate you better.  You will always have my RESPECT.

Ohh and lastly–  I wish I had your eye for detail..ang tindi!!!

Please– pray for me as I go through this major change- it is a steep climb, risky and admittedly a stretch for me…really.  But everyday, this I pray– 

"Lord, help me to remember it’s not by my power, nor by my might, but by your spirit that I accomplish anything worthwhile."

Amen.